The Art of Being a Healing Presence by James E Miller

What does it mean to be a “healing presence”? Is being present a simple physical state — or is there something more to it?

The Art of Being a Healing Presence, a slim 2001 book written by counselor and ordained Methodist minister James Miller, is a short, sweet primer on how, exactly, to be a healing presence. As Miller defines it, it’s the simple act of being there for someone who is grieving or going through a difficult time — but that means more than physically being there. There’s a way that a person can be there mentally, emotionally and spiritually for another person. And this book advises you on how to approach such a task.

Miller prefaces the book by relating his own experience with a healing presence. Years ago, after Miller’s fiancée unexpectedly left him, Miller found comfort with a good friend of his named Tom. Tom would invite Miller over, clear the room, and simply sit and listen while Miller vented his feelings and frustrations. Looking back, Miller was struck by how little Tom actively did, and yet how important his presence was for Miller’s healing process.

The rest of the book is a series of short chapters with mini-lessons on how to achieve that same level of care and trust that Miller found in Tom. For example, preparing a calm, clutter- and interruption-free space, or being at peace with yourself before seeking to help others.

“Being really present includes being awake to yourself. What is happening within you while other things are happening around you? What is your body telling you? What are you feeling? What are you thinking? Another person or other people may be present, so you awaken to them, too. Who are they? What are they like? What are they doing? What is occurring between you?”

Some of the advice veers into the vague or the clichéd, and not all of it is practical. However, there’s undoubtedly a certain reassurance that can be found in a text like this. Miller’s advice reminds the reader of what is possible when one simply cares and makes oneself available to another person. Each chapter starts with a few philosophical quotes, including proverbs and poetry, and is divided into a few simple, straightforward ideas.

Ultimately, if I had to describe this volume with one word, it would be “calming.” The book itself practically has a healing presence! It definitely has value for anyone who knows someone going through a difficult time — be that a death, an illness, a breakup, a job loss — and wants to know how they can help.